Last week, I spoke about the importance of setting strong boundaries in your life. Here is a link to my blog from last week if you missed it.
Did you find that your boundaries were tested this past month or so?
Most of my clients have been telling me that this has been a challenge for them.
While most people find setting boundaries a straight forward process and even enjoy it. I do find that some people would rather just give in than have to enter into a conversation that might bring about conflict.
I respect where you are if this is you. I say this because, I was the same a few years ago. I found it easier to just give in and hope that it all worked out. That is until I discovered the amount of drama and people who were using me. Then I went the other way and was way too rigid. There is always a happy medium and balance.
I find that most people can easily do the first two steps on setting boundaries. That is, decide if they have it to give and if they want to give it.
It’s the third step that is a bit sticky and the step we are going to focus on today.
How do you know what circumstances or conditions to apply?
Here’s the thing, you wouldn’t need boundaries if everyone treated you and your belongings the way you want them to, right?
Well, that’s not always the case, is it?
To know the best way to set the circumstances under which you’ll provide your time, money, belongings or energy, you need to go to the worst case scenario.
What if they don’t treat you or your belonging like you want them to?
How do you want them to treat you?
This is the exact reason why we have lawyers who create contracts for each of us. This is what you’re creating when you set a boundary and the circumstances under which you will each behave.
I will tell you that the secret to setting clear boundaries is to go to the worst case scenario in your head and address all the points that could possibly happen. Then, you can clearly articulate the consequences.
Oh yeah. You must choose to follow through on the consequences.
I can appreciate that this is the uncomfortable part. Believe me.
When you choose to respect and love yourself enough to set strong boundaries, you will have significantly less drama in your life and more respect from others.
So, you have a choice.
In my business, my contract for services acts as my consequences for client behaviour. I spell out exactly how we will communicate and under what circumstances.
Over the years, my contract for services has grown based on how my clients have behaved. There have been things that came up that I never expected. I learned from the experience and now it’s in my contract.
If you’d like to know more about how to step into your power and set strong boundaries, set up a Clarity Session with me.
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