Why Successful Women Still Play Small

A client said something to me in a session that I will never forget. 

She had just made a significant investment in herself and her business.

The kind of investment that represented growth, expansion, and next level visibility. 

She was excited. Hopeful. Ready.

And then, almost immediately, another voice appeared.

"Who do you think you are?"

A few moments later she sighed and shared quietly, "Part of me wants to hide."

I nodded because I knew exactly what she meant, because this was a pattern of thinking that I'd seen over and over in my clients, and in myself as well. 

I've lived it too.

It fascinates me how often this happens.

A woman says she wants more visibility, and then finds herself procrastinating on posting.

She wants to raise her prices, but delays the conversation.

She dreams of speaking on stages, writing the book, leading the movement, creating a greater impact in the world, and yet something inside of her hesitates.

She tells herself she needs more confidence.

More clarity.

A better strategy.

What if that's not what's happening at all?

What if the hesitation isn't a sign that you're not ready?

What if it's a sign that you're growing?

Many of the women I work with are already successful.

They've built businesses.

Raised families.

Led teams.

Supported clients.

They've spent years becoming capable, responsible, dependable women.

From the outside, their lives often look impressive.

Yet privately they tell me a different story.

They are exhausted.

Overthinking.

Second-guessing themselves.

Holding back ideas they know are meant to be shared.

Playing smaller than they know they are capable of playing.

Wanting more freedom, more impact, more income, and more self-expression, while simultaneously feeling uncomfortable with the very things that would create it.

Visibility.

Leadership.

Being fully seen.

Receiving more.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is not because they're broken.

It happens because many of us learned, consciously and unconsciously, that being seen wasn't always safe.

Standing out wasn't always safe.

Being powerful wasn't always safe.

Being different wasn't always safe.

So we learned to adapt.

To fit in.

To please.

To overperform.

To carry the weight.

To make sure everyone else was comfortable.

Those strategies may have helped us survive.

They may have even helped us succeed.

Eventually the very patterns that helped create success become the patterns limiting expansion.

The women I work with rarely need more information.

Most already know what to do.

What they're searching for is permission.

Permission to stop shrinking.

Permission to trust themselves.

Permission to take up space.

Permission to be fully expressed.

Permission to become the woman they already know they are.

The beautiful irony is that the moment we stop fighting ourselves, action becomes easier.

Decisions become clearer.

Opportunities become more visible.

Not because the world changed.

Because we changed the way we think.

Perhaps that's why my client's comment stayed with me.

"Part of me wants to hide."

It's such an honest thing to say.

Perhaps the real question isn't whether part of you wants to hide.

Perhaps the question is:

What would be possible if you no longer needed to?

My question for you is:

Where in your life or business are you still playing smaller than you know you're capable of?

I'd love to hear your answer.