Are You Celebrating Your Wins or Minimizing Them?

Yesterday, I submitted my second manuscript to my publisher. I’m delighted to share that this was the second one this year.

Exciting, right?

It was time for me to celebrate this achievement. I should have been celebrating, and for a few moments, I did. I felt the glow of completion and the quiet satisfaction of seeing months of work take shape.

Then the next thought came in. What do I work on now that’s done?

No, wait. Celebrate this.

Then, at 4:30 a.m., I woke me up and my mind whispered:

You didn’t talk about that topic.
You missed that story.
Why didn’t you include this?

Instead of resting in pride, I found myself cataloguing gaps.

It is ironic, really. I coach women every day to celebrate their progress and to stop equating self-worth with flawless output. Yet in the middle of the night, I was the one needing that reminder.

The Pattern Beneath the Perfection

This is not a personal flaw. It is a collective conditioning.

Research across 35 countries shows that women report a higher fear of failure than men, even when performance is equal. The OECD identifies this as one of the most significant invisible barriers to female entrepreneurship.

Psychological studies show that women consistently rate their abilities lower than their demonstrated competence. This "self-efficacy gap" is less about skill and more about internalized standards.

Culturally, many of us have learned to link humility with likability. Success can feel risky. Too much confidence can feel like too much visibility, and visibility for women has often come with scrutiny rather than safety.

So we pre-empt judgment by minimizing our achievements first. We highlight the flaws before anyone else can find them.

A Personal Reminder

My first book, The Millionaire Codes, The Secret Brain Science Path to Supernatural Success, took nearly five years to write. At one point, I was ready to throw it in the trash. I told myself it was not good enough, that no one would care.

That book went on to become a bestseller. It is now in the hands of over 1,200 readers who tell me they use it as a reference, a guide, and a source of motivation on airplanes and beaches alike.

And still, when I finished my second book, written in under five months, my first thought was not pride but perfectionism.

That reflex is familiar to so many of us. How familiar does this sound?

• You finish a launch and think about the emails you did not send.
  You receive praise and replay the one piece of criticism.
  You achieve what once felt impossible and immediately start planning what is next.

A Client Story

During a session with my client last year, she shared that she had reached her highest monthly revenue yet in her business.

As you can imagine, when I hear this from my clients it makes my heart soar. This is often the very reason they hire me.

When I asked her about the emotions she was feeling around her achievement, she told me she was disappointed.

Yup. I’d heard that before. Felt it too.

She explained that she was sad she had not reached her exact revenue goal for the month. Even though she had just achieved her highest revenue ever, she was focused on what she had not done.

Whoosh.

How many times have you done this in your business?

How many times have you essentially tossed aside your success because it was not exactly what you imagined?

Here is what I coached her to do:

1. Celebrate your success.
   Do something to remind yourself of it. Anchor the win.
2. Create a ritual with a loved one.
   Make it something you both look forward to when you reach a new goal.
3. Announce your success to your team.
   Share it and celebrate it together.

This was the action I coached her to take: to celebrate and create rituals for every future success.

Six days later, the magic happened.

She emailed me:

“Hey Suzanne! I celebrated like you suggested and look what happened today! I hit my revenue goal!”

When she shifted her focus from what did not happen to what did, her energy changed. The result followed naturally.

So I ask you:
Are you paying attention to your success and celebrating it?
Or are you focused on what is not working?

Shift your focus. Celebrate your success.

The Real Cost of Downplaying Success

Every time you gloss over your accomplishments, you reinforce the belief that they do not count, that you somehow still do not count.

For women founders, this habit is more than emotional. It is structural. When you understate your results, you reduce visibility, which influences investment, partnership, and opportunity.

You dim your own data.

The world does not just need more women succeeding. It needs more women seen succeeding, unfiltered, unqualified, and unapologetic.

Reframing the Habit

Here are a few ways I am working to shift this pattern, both personally and with my clients:

1. Pause before the next thing.
   Completion is worth its own breath. The to-do list can wait 24 hours.
2. Keep a “win log.”
   Every week, write one thing that went well. Big or small. Progress counts as evidence.
3. Replace “but” with “and.”
   “I am proud of what I created, and I see ways to improve next time.” Both can be true.
4. Share success stories without disclaimers.
   Visibility is not vanity. It is service, proof that achievement is possible.
5. Celebrate out loud.
   We normalize what we name. When women publicly celebrate wins, we expand permission for others to do the same.

A Closing Thought

That 4:30 a.m. voice was not my enemy. It was simply an old pattern, shaped by culture, reinforced by bias, and softened only by awareness.

Today, I choose to celebrate the win.

Two manuscripts written. One published bestseller. One on its way. Hundreds of lives already touched.

Perhaps that is the new measure of success: not perfection, but presence.

Your Turn

What is one recent success you downplayed, and how could you share it differently if you owned it fully?

Share it below so we can celebrate together.

References

• OECD (2022). Women and Fear of Failure in Entrepreneurship.
• Hodgkinson, G. et al. (2008). Intuition: A fundamental bridging construct in the behavioural sciences. British Journal of Psychology.
• Ahl, H. & Marlow, S. (2020). Exploring the Intersection of Gender and Entrepreneurship Culture. International Entrepreneurship and Management Journal.
• NBER / Investopedia (2023). Gender Gaps in Entrepreneurial Funding Outcomes.